Fine Line
Perhaps the reason we Scots lack a bit of confidence at times is because we shun arrogance.
Confidence can often take you where qualifications can’t and for that reason every child in every school is encouraged to speak out and exude confidence. Negative self-talk is a torturous inhibitor which strikes the heart and mind of anyone who ever doubted themselves - and that doesn’t leave many of us standing. Confidence is up there with the best wrench in your toolbox. Self-confidence is to be indoctrinated.
It is possible to ‘make’ yourself be more self-confident. One of the best ways is to begin to monitor you own self-talk. That is, the record that each of us plays in our heads each day. In many ways, our lives are little more feedback loops. We tell ourselves little stories about what is possible in our lives, in our relationships, in our businesses. These metaphors are in reality little more than castles of sand, which can be re-shaped in the blink of an eye. This is our choice as humans.
But self-confidence steeped in self-importance is self-centered, egocentric and just one small step removed from arrogance.
Consider Nelson Mandela and all that he has achieved. He displays inner confidence without a hint of arrogance. His demeanor is relaxed yet inspiring. He is thoughtful, reflective and open to the opinions of others without being dismissive. His responses are measured and fair-minded.
Self-confidence moves us forward. Arrogance pushes us forward at the expense of others. And the bird who thinks that only it can fly the highest must one day come back down to earth for a drink.
Be confident without displaying arrogance by believing in yourself and believing in other people.
Thomas Chalmers is an executive coach based in Scotland. He works with executives, politicians, and entrepreneurs. http://www.idealifeinternational.com Michael Imani, Ph.D. is a life coach based in Atlanta. He has worked with clients in 6 countries. http://www.michaelimanicoaching.com
Tags: coaching, executive coaching, Life coaching, success coaching
